Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
