About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
