like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
