this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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