Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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