YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
