All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
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