My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize