dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
