I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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