i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Randomize
