when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
