You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize