Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
