If that was your dad, he is hot
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
