Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
