I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
