So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
