Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
