i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
