Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
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