Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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