dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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