What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
