i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
