Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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