wanna go halves on a baby?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
