I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
