I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
