I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
