we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize