Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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