Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
