You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
