those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
