i permit you to call me
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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