i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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