Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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