Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
