There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
