so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
