When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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