when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
You took a bar mat shot.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
