I feel like abortions should bother me more
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
