I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
ttyl tear gas
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Randomize
