i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
