I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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