you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize