i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
her facebook's as public as her vagina
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
