did you get engaged???
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I am one with the molecules
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize