Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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