I wanna bring you to show and tell
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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