I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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