WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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