Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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