um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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