i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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