Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
did i walk over a car last night?
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Randomize
