you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
