yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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