when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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