brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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